Sunday, February 19, 2012

How to drink Black Swan wine

  • Make sure you get a red wine because that's more dramatic
  • Start drinking
  • Practice your amazing ballet moves
  • Have someone yell at you that you suck at being the black swan
  • Drink some more
  • Try dancing again
  • Stare at your reflection in the mirror until your face starts melting or some other weird crap
  • Drink MORE
  • Make out with Mila Kunis
  • Find out you didn't actually make out with Mila Kunis
  • Drink the rest of the bottle
  • Pretend you're turning into a swan
  • Dramatically perform Swan Lake and throw yourself off something high at the end
  • Dribble wine down your shirt so you look like you stabbed yourself
  • Have your boyfriend tell you that he'd like to see you try to perform Swan Lake


  1. Then proceed to enjoy epic night out.

    1. Oh I did enjoy the rest of the night.

  2. How did you know what I did every night?