#movies - We need to talk about Kevin aka I have discovered a new form of birth control

We need to talk about why this movie should be used as a form of birth control.

Is it weird that I like movies where someone is psycho but there's one person who's onto them and no one else believes it until the end of the movie and people are dead? That's a genre right?

This is also my worst nightmare. Knowing something is wrong and no one believing me. I've had dreams where this happens and I end up screaming and crying, trying to get my point across but it doesn't matter, no one believes me.

Tilda Swinton plays the main character Eva. When her son Kevin is born she knows right away that something is off about him. Even as a child he's very cruel and cold towards her and is bent on making her life as miserable as possible. Eva's husband, Franklin, played by John C. Reilly, doesn't see anything wrong with their son. He's just a normal boy when Franklin is around.

Eva's solution to having a child that despises her and is pretty much evil is to have another child. (have you not seen the Good Son Eva?!) This one will love me! When Kevin learns of the pregnancy and she asks him how he feels he breaks crayons and gives his mother a death stare.

Clearly this kid is ready for more people to torture. (Ok so this is not from that exact scene but all of his death stares are pretty much the same).

Franklin decides to give Kevin a bow and arrow and a target. I mean this is just flipping brilliant! Granted, Franklin is clueless as to how crazy his son is but Eva knows and is too scared to say anything.

So Eva knows that Kevin is crazy and evil and armed and yet, she allows him to baby sit. And this is what happens:

Not from an arrow but from something else. I can't give away everything about the movie here. Good job there Eva having that second child who loves you so much and now has one eye.

I'd like to thank this movie for making me terrified of having children and for my new PSA campaign:

HAVING MORE CHILDREN DOES NOT FIX THE PROBLEM.

I am bolding and underlining that because it is really true for so many of life's problems.

You might think from this review that I dislike Eva and that is not true. I actually feel really bad for her and honestly don't know what I would do in this situation. Probably cry and drink some wine and eat some french fries and cry some more and not have a second child.

I read an interview with the author of the book the movie is based off of and she said she thought of the idea when she considered whether or not  she wanted children. She had decided at the age of 8 to never have children and thought she should rethink that idea once she turned 40. Um, I think she made her decision.....

Also, you should read about Tilda's relationship with her boyfriend and the father of her children. It's a little strange but very interesting.

Who needs a plot?

I saw Magic Mike last night. It was exactly what I expected. Not much plot but plenty of abs and bums. The ending was a little strange. It just felt like an odd point to end the movie. Still enjoyable. Grab a lady or two and have fun.

On our way to the Tavern I spotted this car.

This continues on the other side too. I'm guessing they do roller derby because there were a ton of roller derby stickers.

On my way back home all I could smell was flowers. Not a bad thing to be smelling. Then I came across a skunk. It was cute but then I remembered it wouldn't be so cute if it sprayed me so I continued on my way. I then found a dollar on the ground. I'd say it was a pretty lucky night.

Maybe this is my lucky outfit?

Or my hipster/white trash outfit. I'll let you guys decide.

23 days until the Hunger Games movie and thoughts on Mockingjay Katniss

 
The Hunger Games opens in theaters in 23 days! Not that I'm counting or anything....

I'd like to take a moment to talk about Katniss in Mockingjay. So if you haven't read book 3 yet you might want to skip this. Nothing super spoilerific but still, just a warning.

I am a Katniss fan. There are some people that are not. Some think she's cold and others like her character up until Mockingjay. They don't like weak Katniss that hides in the closet. But you know what? She's a teenager who's been through a lot of shit. She was in the Hunger Games not once but twice, her home was blown to pieces, the guy that she loves (but won't admit it yet) was kidnapped and is being tortured and the people that she thought she could trust were using her to further their own agenda and lied to her about it. Not to mention that she's now expected to be the face of a revolution. I think she has every right to have a little break down. Suzanne Collins knew what she was doing. Hard, cold, strong Katniss is still a teenager, she's still human, she is not perfect. In the end she does what she has to do to survive and that is the Katniss we know and love.

Conversations on cold meds and isn't that Captain Von Trapp and Princess Buttercup?

This is what happens when I get a cold.

I take cold medicine and feel better and then my stomach is like "oh hell no!" and the acid reflux bitch slaps me right in the esophagus. The cold has pretty much passed but now I'm trying to calm down the stomach.

See I told you I was still going to over share on this blog.

Dave and I saw The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I thought it was pretty good until the last ten minutes. What the heck was that crap? I read the books so I had an idea of what was going on but they did not explain it well for those who have not read the book.

And the cat! Why?! I can't handle anything bad happening to an animal in a movie.

Besides that the acting was great, the spirit of the book was captured and Trent Reznor did an excellent job with the score. I'm also glad that they didn't make Mikael a man whore in this movie like he was in the book. If you haven't read the books I hope I'm not spoiling too much by telling you he bangs every chick he meets.

Moving on: hello Captain Von Trapp!

I am a huge Sound of Music fan and I think Christopher Plummer is fabulous (and sexy).

Did you recognize princess Buttercup?

I didn't know Robin Wright was still acting.

Of course I have to compare the two Lisbeth's.

Noomi is the original Lisbeth. She played Lisbeth to perfection and no one denies that. Rooney had a tough job; you can't help but compare her to the original. I think she did very well, even though the eyebrows freaked me out a bit.

Drugged up on cough medicine I had this conversation with Dave:

"I'm going to cut my hair like Lisbeth."

"I think that would look good."

"Really?!!"

"Just don't do the eyebrows."

I should point out that I often try to freak Dave out by telling him I'm going to do weird things to myself but he always says "that would look good on you!"

I also told him that if he throws me overboard on a cruise ship that he has to take in my cats.

"Why would I throw you overboard on a cruise ship?!"

"I don't know but if you do you I'm leaving my cats to you."

Jane Eyre, Fassbender and french fries, these are a few of my favorite things.

Last night I picked up some sweet potato fries and Jane Eyre from the Red Box and had myself a good old solo movie watching party. Fassbender and I had a lovely time.

Jane Eyre is one of my favorite books. I think this version did the book justice. The sequencing was a bit different and the movie ends with Jane and Rochester's reunion without mentioning that they end up getting married and having babies. I still enjoyed and cried. I'm a sensitive girl.

Michael Fassbender is amazing. I've been raving about him since I saw him in HEX so it's about time everyone else jumped on the Fassbender train.

Oh you haven't seen HEX? Get on that ASAP because that show is fantastic!

Happy Friday everyone!

Favorite movies of 2011

I have to admit that my movie watching this year was pretty pathetic. I didn't make it to the movies as much as I would have liked to (hello 2012 goal). But I'm still going to share what I did like.

Bridesmaids

Probably the funniest movie of the year. I will never eat at a sketchy Brazilian restaurant. I think what's so great about Bridesmaids is that it shows that a woman centric comedy can appeal to men and woman. Woman are funny, woman can be gross, woman can lead a comedy film.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Harry Potter is really done. Sad to see it go but the movie did the books justice. I only wish the deaths in the final battle weren't so glossed over. I wasn't as emotional as I was with the books. I still loved the movie though.

Tower Heist

Welcome back Eddie Murphy. Where the heck have you been? We need a spin off with Matthew Broderick and Eddie Murphy.

"Today I teach you how to pick a lock with a bobby pin! Here's your bobby pin, here's your bobby pin, and here's your punk-ass bobby pin! You unlock the door, or you gonna freeze to death! I'm gonna be inside having sex with Rita!"

I know this list is pretty sad but I didn't realize that until I started writing this post and I put in all this effort so you get this pathetically short list.

Movies I still need to see that came out in 2011:

Drive
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Sherlock Holmes
Horrible Bosses

Thoughts on Breaking Dawn. Need more humans.

• Edward is still making ridiculous faces but what happened to Jasper's faces? He really stole the show with those faces in the first movie.
• Bella's wedding dress was nice in the back but I did not like the front. 
• Make out session at the alter is not necessary.
• I think the speeches at the wedding were the best part of the whole movie. Way better than the sex scene. #teamhumans #teamjessica #teamcharlie
• Poor Jacob I mean seriously. He can cry his wolfie tears in my arms any time.
• They did a good job making K. Stew look like crap. She was suppose to look like crap so yeah good job. 
• Vampire teeth c-section was kept in the movie which is kind of funny considering how little (as in no) blood they showed in the other movies.

I lost the excitement for these movies after the first one. I've moved on to Hunger Games which is a million times better anyways.

Hunger Games trailer. I'm going to pee my pants.

I can't even handle this trailer. I have watched it about 5 times already and I'm nowhere near sick of watching it. I love everything about it. The color contrast between District 12 and the capital is perfect.  District 12 is all washed out, dreary and gray while the Capital is bright, shiny and colorful. Really gives you the feeling of how bleak life in District 12 is. Effie looks spot on. Poor Peeta's face when Effie motions for him to come on stage after his name is called. Katniss looking frantic right before she goes up into the arena. And the last scene when the games officially start! I almost died. I can't remember the last time I was this excited over a trailer! Is it March yet for the love of God!

Weekend adventures. Sun chips taste even better at 3 a.m.

So I think we paid some random person to drive us home Friday.  It was 3 a.m. and we were trying to catch a cab near Park Street for over an hour.  This guy rolls up in a really fancy black car and offers us a ride for $75.00.  Darryl talked him down to $30.00 and all five of us piled in.  We think he drove for a car service but he was not a taxi.  We were freezing and desperate.  I would never have done this if I wasn't with three other guys.

Dave and I saw Tower Heist yesterday.  It wasn't bad.  It took a little bit for the movie to get going but there were quite a few laughs.  Eddie Murphy is great in this movie and I agree with other reviews I've read that say some of the best parts are the interactions between Eddie Murphy and Matthew Broderick.

I have a birthday party to go to tonight so the weekend is not over yet.  Good thing I went to bed at 11 last night.  UPDATE:  Now staying home with tv and white chocolate Reese's.  It's a party up in here (in my mouth)!

I leave you with this video which is a song called Money by I Fight Dragons.  I love this song and have bounced around to this video too many times to keep track.

Casper

Dave texted me last night to let me know he was watching Casper.  Well that's kind of awkward because one of my future husbands is in this movie.  That would be Devon Sawa, not Bill Pullman.

The ending of Casper drives me nuts!  This probably seems like a ridiculous statement and that may be but let me explain why.

Casper gives up his chance to be human again to save Bill Pullman.  When I first saw this movie I was all excited because Christina Ricci's dead mother was going to give Casper his life back.  NOT.  Instead she's all "You can be alive again for about an hour so enjoy that.  I'm also imposing a curfew because you're a young ghost and you know young ghosts have to go to bed at a decent time."  I'm paraphrasing here...

Really ghost mom?  I mean that's just ridiculous!  The poor kid only gets to be human again once and you're going to impose a curfew?

A few more questions:

Why do the ghosts in this movie look nothing at all like people?

What happens to Casper when Christina Ricci's character grows up and starts dating boys that are alive? 

Why is Devon Sawa only in this movie for 3 minutes?

This is what keeps me up at night.  I still love this movie by the way and if any dude wants to melt a girls heart just whisper "can I keep you?"   You can thank me later for that advice dudes.

Movie review and this month it's not shitty it's Shelly's brithday!!

Harley of No Pressure No Diamonds is taking over my blog today for a movie review in honor of Shelly!  Harley is Irish and awesome so I'm super excited for her posting on my blog.

It's Shelly's birthday! Shelly is kind and sweet and says "jeepers" a lot and she's not even a little bit as innocent as she looks. To celebrate the auspicious date of her birth, I've picked The Aristocats because all the cats just really remind me of Shelly.

Especially little Marie!

In case you haven't seen it, The Aristocats is a Disney movie from 1970 that's basically Lady and the Tramp with cats. All those crazy cat ladies that refused to go to Lady and the Tramp because they weren't dog people? Yeah, the Aristocats was basically made for them. Because apparently the racist Siamese cats didn't cut the mustard.

The Aristocats is set in Paris, in the house of one of those crazy ladies that you hear about on the news who leave their estates to their pets. Her pets are Duchess, a fancy white ho and her three bastard children, Marie, Berlioz and Toulouse. Their parentage is never discussed so you can only assume that they're the milkcat's by-blows.

AnyDuchessisafloozy, crazy cat lady does indeed leave her fortunes to the pets, and the butler, an imaginatively named Edgar, drugs the cats, stuffs them in a sack and takes them down to the river to drown.

The end.

Just kidding! Edgar gets attacked by dogs (for the dog-lovers in the audience), and Duchess and her kittens are left stranded in the middle of nowhere, far from their lapcat pleasures.

They then meet the hero of the story, Tramp. Sorry, no, I mean Thomas O'Malley, the alley cat (seewhattheydidthere?). He's a rapscallion if ever you saw one, all cocky and witty and generally an arrogant little tool who just wants some tail. Naturally Duchess falls for the boy-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-tracks thing and they continue on their merry way, meeting jazz-playing cats and all sorts until they make it back to their mansion in Paris. Duchess waves a sad goodbye to Thomas because, obviously, a poor boy from the wrong side of town just won't cut it in Madame Adelaide's house of wonders. It just can't be! They're like star-crossed lovers who cross their stars on purpose. Ridiculous.

I mean, he's a STRAY!

Shocking.

Anyway, Edgar the evil butler sees the cats arriving back to the mansion and catches them again, since they are clearly about as dumb as a box of hammers. O'Malley returns with his Scat Gang (nothing to do with poo, so don't even think it) and saves them, sending Edgar off to Timbuktu in the process. He is hailed as a hero and Madame Adelaide looks past his shabby clementine exterior to the heart of gold within, welcoming him into the fold. He is written into the will, showing that crazy old people who leave their houses to their cats don't consider that there might be divorce or questions about asset division in cat futures.

In short, the moral of the story is Everybody Wants To Be A Cat, because then you don't have to do a damn thing except be fancy, sleep all day, look cute... and you get mansions and servants in return for doing fuck all.

I think we can all aspire to that.

The boy who lived.

I made a last minute decision after work to see the last Harry Potter movie.  I went by myself, which is a first for me.  I think I'll be going to the movies solo more often.  I got my pop corn (which was my dinner, gross I know) and settled in for the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

Overall I thought the movie was well done.  The pace was much faster than the Deathly Hallows Part 1 and there were some stellar performances.  Allen Rickman was amazing as usual.  I like the way Snape is portrayed in the movies better than in the books and I think that's due to Allen Rickman's performance.  Maggie Smith was also pretty fantastic.  "I've always wanted to use the spell". 

I cried even though the deaths were expected since I've read all the books.  There were a few funny moments though which I wasn't expecting and of course the Ron and Hermione kiss finally.  And woah Neville!  You were pretty badass in this film. 

There were a few details that were left out i.e. no mention of Tonks being pregnant but Harry somehow knows this and Snape dying in the boat house and not in the shrieking shack, but overall I enjoyed the movie.

It's been a fun ride Mr. Potter.  Thanks for the memories.

Found.

I was all over the place this weekend.

Friday I went to my grandmother's for nail painting and chicken salad sandwiches.  Ended up recording secret videos on my cousin's mac book while she wasn't paying attention.  Alexis was very satisfied with the results.

Saturday I picked up Ramon to go to a friend's show in Quincy.  We need to get a tracking device on that kid.  No one knew where he was for a good two years.

Photographic evidence that Ramon still exists.

There was a little 4 am drama but overall a good night.

Sunday I went to church for a memorial mass for my father and grandfather.  Baked mac and cheese and ham for brunch.  Yum!  Showed up for the Maltese Falcon in my "church clothes".  Quality film.  Humphrey Bogart is pretty fantastic.  "When you're slapped you'll take it and like it".

I should try to get some more sleep.  Not a fan of being woken up by kitties at 4 a.m.