The ex files and mystery rash

I can't sleep because I'm so itchy. It's horrible. I might have to tape pot holders to my hands because that's how bad I want to scratch. I gave up on trying to sleep so I'm blogging instead.

I promised to spill on the meeting with my ex. The original plan was to get drinks but that turned into getting some food and watching a movie with his roommate and roommates friend. This was fine with me. We ate Pop Eye's and watched The Island (a very underrated movie in my opinion). I was getting read to leave after the movie because I was all sleepy and drugged up on Benadryl but he asked me to stay for a little but so I did. We hung out and talked and I showed him my rash because I'm classy like that and it's not like he hasn't seen my butt before.

I think he thought we were going to hook up. I had to shoot that down. First of all I felt very much not hot with my awful rash. Second of all I just can't do the hook up thing. I don't need friends with benefits. I'm fine with just friends. He probably though I was a bitch but oh well. That's the way it is. I still had a good time.

The more I look at this rash (which involves staring at my butt in the mirror) the more concerned I am that I might be a leper. I am really hoping that I can get into the doctor today because I am going out of my mind over here. The medicine I got says to use no more than 3-4 times a day and I'm tempted to just squirt the whole think in a bucket and just sit in it. I'm using it was more than 3-4 times a day but I haven't heard of anyone over dosing on calamine lotion yet.

Wish me luck that I get into the doctor today, or at the very least a good leper colony.

Exciting updates, plant sitting and 50 Shades of Grey

Still no shower. I feel like I should get a girl scout badge for roughing it. It's tough dragging my barely awake ass down the street to use Melissa's shower.

Melissa - just so you know, I watered your plant John F. Plantington today. Also, just so you know, I named your plant John F. Plantington. The F stands for Fern but then I realized that's silly because John is not a fern but then I was too tired to think of anything else.

So I watered myself and Mr. Plantington. I'm really hoping my shower is functioning today. My bathroom was painted yesterday which is great and all but I think having a shower matters a bit more than fresh paint.

I'm currently reading 50 Shades of Grey and plan on doing a post about it when I'm done. It's slow going because I don't want to read this book out in public. Not because it's pretty much porn but because the writing is so bad I don't want people judging me. Maybe I should wear a shirt that says "I read Jane Austen too!" then on the back it would say "but I also read Twilight....."

My ex-boyfriend from 7 years ago sent me a message on OKCupid and I think we are meeting up for drinks. Why not? It will be fun to catch up.

Apparently OKCupid hides the attractive people

I got this message from OKCupid.

We just detected that you're now among the most attractive people on OkCupid. 

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver. Did you get a new haircut or something? Well, it's working! 

To celebrate, we've adjusted your OkCupid experience: You'll see more attractive people in your match results. 

This won't affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But we'll recommend more attractive people to you. You'll also appear more often to other attractive people. Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don't let this go to your head.

So what you're telling me here OKCupid, is that you hide the attractive people until you decide that I'm attractive enough to have attractive people in my  matches?


Is the not attractive enough for you?!

Ok, so this is not on my OKC profile but maybe it should be.

Back in the saddle and it's scary up in here!

I signed up for Okcupid. I did it on a whim. I figured it wouldn't hurt to just see what's out there. Maybe I'll make some new friends, maybe I'll casually date or maybe I'll meet someone. Who knows. What I do know is that there are some horrible horrible user names on OKC. Dirtlip, LonelyMuscian, Boston (insert sports team here followed by a number). Knead2Love has to be Peeta, clearly.

Most of the guys on OKC are horrible. I'm not even kidding. I would say I only respond to 10% of messages because the other 90% are that bad. Between not even trying "hey wut up" to straight up perv "hey you want to _____ my ______" NO NO I DO NOT YOU NASTY.

I'm really scared that these guys are out in the world.

Of course not every guy on there is bad and I'm just on there for the heck of it. It's free, I'm bored, why not. Oh I know why not, because it makes me lose faith in man kind. I'm sure the woman on there are a special treat as well.

Running into your #OKCupid rejects and something about a hurricane.

Happy Friday lovely readers. Us East coasters are getting ready for Hurricane Irene. Better pull my boat out of the water. I seriously hope that you know I'm kidding. If I had a boat I'd be on it right now with T-Pain and Andy Samberg.  You never know how seriously to take these things.  I mean obviously if they tell you to evacuate you should and I would not want to be near the coast on Sunday but the news just goes crazy with this stuff.  I have a flash light and candles.  I'm going to get some extra water and maybe some tasty snacks and have a hurricane party with the cats.

Speaking of cats - I saw this hoodie in Target with a lion on it and I knew I had to have it.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I pretty much love anything with lions or tigers on it.  Maybe it's the cat lady in me.  I also love hoodies.  How could I resist?  I didn't.

Anyways, I had an interesting T ride this morning.  I look up from my book and I totally recognize the dude across from me.  Every dating website I've been on he's messaged me.  Over the years I've been on a few dating sites off and on.  I try one out for a little bit and I either get bored, annoyed or start seeing someone so I delete my profile.  I've tried Match, OKCupid and Plenty of Fish.  Every time I put a profile up on one of these sites he is on there sending me a message.  I always ignore his messages because his profile creeps me out.  He sounds way too desperate and I get the feeling he would cling to any girl that showed him any sort of attention and there he is sitting across from me. 

He didn't give me any strange looks so I don't think he recognized me but then again he was wearing sunglasses so for all I know he could have been staring me down.

I have a track record of running into people I've rejected from dating sites.

Christmas of 2007.  I'm at a former co-workers Christmas party when I see this guy walk in who I had been on two dates with a couple months back but just wasn't feeling it.  I had starting seeing someone else so I broke it off using that excuse rather than "I'm just not into you".  He seemed cool with it at the time. 

He sees me and makes a B line directly for me.  I can tell by watching him that he's drunk which is odd considering he told me he didn't drink.

I don't drink drunk dude:  Ginny!!!  What are you doing here!  It's so good to see you!

at this point I'm having the most awkward hug of my life.

me:  Hey I don't drink drunk dude.  How are you?

IDDDD:  Oh man well this girl I was seeing just dumped me so I decided to get drunk.

WTF!  He was so anti-drinking when I met him and now he's wasted.  He poured his drunken heart out to me for a few minutes and then wandered off.  Ok, I can deal with this.  He's harmless and just upset about being drumped.

And then I see him standing up on a chair.  I don't know how I knew what was going to happen next but I did.  He's going to make an announcement.  Shit, this is bad BAD.

IDDDD:  Guys!  Guys!  I have something to say.

the whole party stops and everyone looks at him.

IDDDD:  This girl!  This girl right here!  She's a really great girl.  And even though she wouldn't date me.  I still think she's a great girl.

This is the part where I die.  I just stand there and I can only imagine the look on my face.  This is why I'm not seeing you!  Because you are out of your flipping mind!!!  The rest of the night I'm fielding questions about how I know him and I tell the truth, that we met online.  I think I turned quite a few people off from online dating that night.

The second incident happened in May of 2009.  I was at a party talking to this dude.  He seemed nice enough but I didn't know if he was my type.  While we're in the middle of our conversation he suddenly asks me "do I know you from somewhere?"  I didn't recognize this guy at all so I said that I didn't think so.  "Are you on okcupid?  Is your user name xxxxxx?"  Why yes that is my user name and I am!  Ok, freak out time, what did I do?  "Yeah we were messaging back and forth and then you just stopped responding."  Oops, sorry about that dude at party.

I was really embarrassed but must have played it off well because he wasn't too upset over it.  He found it kind of funny.  I just don't understand why this crap keeps happening to me.  Does this happen to anyone else?  Running into your OKCupid rejects?  It's a pretty horrible situation but makes for great blogging right?

I hope this doesn't turn you off from online dating.  I think it's a fabulous tool to meet new people and if anything you get some awesome stories out of it.

And now I leave you with a hurricane themed song.  Take it away Panic! at the Disco.

Busy...need sleep...not going to happen anytime soon

You guys I am tired.  This week has been crazy and it's only Wednesday.  I need my bed in a serious way.

I'm very much sick of guys right now.  I have said this before but really it's like life is giving me some real special treats lately.  The last thing I need right now is a message from "pntyhoselvr" on okcupid.  I'm going to keep my chin up though and wine glass in hand.  Or more likely beer but wine sounds more classy.  I know I haven't been blogging about my internet dating adventures and I think it's because I'm afraid of someone that I go out on a date with reading my blog.  I tend to announce that I have a blog on first dates.  Let's keep that to ourselves until a few dates in.  It's not like blogging is what I do for work so there is no reason for me to bring it up.  Much like how I told the bartender that I was featured blogger on 20sb for August.  No need to be telling him that.

I have laundry to do, kitties to pet, floors to vacuum but there's no time this week.  Funny that I can still manage to update my blog!  It keeps me sane.

I have to talk about how much I'm loving Jen's blog Talk Nerdy To Me Lover.  Now I wish I was going to the 20sb summit.  Where are you money Gods!?  I have important internet people to meet.