Sunday, June 12, 2011

What a mess

I've been feeling overly emotional and lonely lately.  I cried when my laptop broke and most recently I cried when I saw the wedding photos of a guy I use to date (sort of).  Yes, I sat crying over the wedding photos of a guy that I sort of dated.  It's not even that I still have feelings for him, I don't.  I just had the overwhelming feeling of not being good enough.  Add to that my most recent failed dating attempt.  I'm sure the next girl that he dates will be the last.  I have a track record of being the last girl a guy dates before he meets his wife.  I am the real life "Good Luck Chuck".

My younger brother is married with a child on the way and my mother just moved in with her boyfriend.  Most of my friends are coupled off.  There are weddings and engagements and baby showers that I drag myself to.  I give my simple "no I'm not seeing anyone" response to the "are you seeing anyone?" question.  I smile and nod as they tell me "you'll meet someone" or "when you're not looking for someone that's when they find you".  They list my great qualities and tell me not to worry.  The whole conversation makes me feel worse.  I'd rather my single status not even be brought up.

This post sounds like one giant pity party and it may be.  I'm not looking for "it will be ok".  I just need to get this out before I turn into a weepy pathetic mess.  Considering I've already had a pretty pathetic cry I may already be a weepy pathetic mess.

5 comments:

  1. oh shame. sometimes singleness seriously sucks. big time. and especially with all those engagements/weddings/babies, it actually costs more, cause you can't share the cost of one present with a partner.
    my tip? remember all the awesome things you CAN do because you're single. hopefully one day you wont be, so go do all those crazy things you can only do now you're single.
    otherwise ice cream doesn't really help the situation, but it certainly tastes good.

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  2. Thank you. I feel better just getting it out there. My bank account could use a break from all of these babies and weddings ha.

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  3. I just wrote a post expressing similar concerns-- I know exactly how you feel. :/

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  4. aw Nicole I accept! Where shall we register?

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