Monday, November 28, 2011

I am not good at yoga in case I had you fooled

So I think I may have given you guys the wrong impression. I am not good at yoga. Not even a little. I have the flexibility of a stick. In fact it just took me three tries to spell flexibility. Wasn't there an a in that word somewhere? My downward dog should be re-named what the fuck is that. I can't even say I "practice yoga" it's more like I attempt to practice and my body and mind are like "practice something else like eating or sleeping". I hear you loud and clear body and mind. Do shut up.

I've been trying to do ten minutes of yoga a day. That's all I can handle for now. I'm afraid to go to class because I feel like I'm whatever level comes before beginner. It's like when I use to take swimming lessons and the first level was rock. Everyone laughed at the rock group. When you think about it that's a pretty horrible name for a swim level. Like you're so bad you're going to sink and die like a rock. I am at the rock level in yoga and it would be great if I could even move up to a pollywog or a guppy. Just for the record I was never a rock in swimming because I was and still am a beast in the water.

If I can get ten minutes in without a cat interrupting our without me being distracted by something I call that a success.

I'm going to start a yoga class called "rock level yoga."  This is where you set up your mat and then fall to the ground and don't move, much like a rock.  That will be $50.00 please.

7 comments:

  1. This. Yoga bores me to death. While I'm SUPER flexible, I just can't get into it. I giggle every five seconds and I have lots of side comments. My roommate is too embarrassed to go with me anymore. I bought a Groupon deal to a place for unlimited yoga for a month. Went twice. Sweated a ton but damn that shit is boring -- and at the same time hilarious.

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  2. I'm with you. I really try to hard to be even remotely good at Yoga and it just never really works out. Unless you are supposed to fall...a lot.

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  3. I once went to a yoga where the instructor was way into chakras and kept telling us to enhance our green chakra - whatever that means. It was very confusing and boring and I did not go back!

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  4. For some strange reason I started hot yoga a couple of weeks ago. As if not being able to balance is bad enough, I also feel like I'm going to pass out at any moment and/or drown in sweat while the super buff girls in sports bras around me do headstands.

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  5. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I just don't think I'll ever be a hard core yogi.

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  6. Ouch, I hope you can get better. Just stick with it, but it sounds like you've been trying to stick with it for a while already. I'm not that flexible, and I can't swim. I'm most definitely "a rock".

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  7. Yoga is hard as hell! I made the mistake of doing Birkam (Hot Ass Smelly) Yoga once and thought I was going to die.

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