Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Me vs. the neighbor's dog

I'd like to start this post by informing you that I am a huge animal lover. I love cats, dogs, horses and even birds. I get very upset if an animal gets hurt or killed in a movie. I still can't watch that scene with the horse in the Never Ending Story. If you don't remember that scene I'm warning you now it's pretty traumatizing.

My building has a lot of dogs. I might be the lone cat lady. When I first moved in I started to recognize the dogs and which dogs went with which owners. The dog that I run into the most though of course is the one that I'm pretty sure wants to bite my face off.

The demon dog lives in apartment 1 which of course would be an apartment right by the front door. Demon dog thinks he's a guard dog. He kind of looks like this but black and not wear clothing and does not ride a sheep dog (I would be really scared if that were the case).

Whenever someone enters or leaves the building demon dog starts going crazy and barking. I'm pretty sure he just sits by the door waiting for a noise. Sometimes demon dog will be entering or leaving the building the same time as another dog and he goes into full on attack mood and the sound echos off the walls and it's just ridiculous. My cats will freeze and crouch like "wtf was that!!!" That's just the crazy demon dog kitties.

The wife or girlfriend usually leaves for work the same time as I do and I don't know if she brings the dog to work or to a doggie day care but she brings the dog with her. If I see them in the hall at the same time as me I pretend I'm looking for something in my purse because I refuse to walk by that dog. I did that once and the thing lunged at me. No thanks. I usually do this doggie door dance 2-3 times a week.

Now on my way home sometimes I run into the husband or boyfriend with the dog. Yesterday I tried to stall walking down my walkway, look at that spot on the ground, where are those keys that I have in my hand, is that a squirrel? But demon dog owner decides to stand there with his crazy ass evil dog and hold the door for me. Great! I slowly walk towards the door while demon dog stands there watching me. Clearly he's plotting. I'm no fool.

I make it to the first door and then realize I'm going to have to do this again for the second door. I stand way back and when he holds the door open I try my best to stay as far away as possible while giving the dog the side eye. The dog does nothing. His owner coos "come on sweetie!" Sweetie? Have you met your demon dog? 

This dog is trying to trick me. I'm not fooled by yesterday's events. Demon dog is trying to lull me into a false sense of security and worst of all it knows where I live. So I guess the game shall continue. My neighbors will probably wonder why I can never find my keys or why I make a face when they hold the door open. Enjoy your demon dog!


  1. I don't think the dog can be all that bad, but it does sound pretty evil. There's no such as an inherently bad dog though. It makes me wonder what the owners are really like for the dog to be that bad.

  2. It is for sure plotting your demise. Little dogs are crazy.

  3. Little dogs are crazy. Ruby turns into demon dog when the neighbor's cat walks by the sliding glass door.

  4. I think this dog has a doppelganger that lives two doors down from me.

    Luckily I haven't had to walk past it ever but if it keeps barking at every. single. goddamn. noise I will have to go over and punch it out. Small dogs are the worst for that. What breed is the demon dog?

  5. My dog is demon sometimes, but only when someone he doesn't know comes into my apartment. This is probably fair. If someone I didn't know came into my apartment I would bark too.
    I've definitely done the "oh look at that spot on the ground!" to avoid bad neighbors/animals.