Stalking is ok if you're a vampire

I keep thinking it's Friday but SURPRISE it's still very much Thursday.

This weekend Melissa's friend Bonnie is coming into town so we're going to take her out and show her a good time. I hope Bonnie's idea of a good time is dancing to music that was really popular back in 2005 because that's what's happening.

Derek is leaving for New York tomorrow. I was invited but declined as I do not want to sleep on a couch at a fraternity, plus he should have his guy time with his friends. I think I'm going to stay in Friday night and watch netflix with the kitties in my pjs.

Maybe I'll start watching Vampire Diaries again. I'm trying to get into it but it hasn't happened. Does anyone else find it creepy that the premise of this show is "you look like the love of my life who is dead so we should totally be together because you look like her". On the creepy Edward Cullen vampire scale I give that a 7. Not to mention Stephen stalks her.

Here I am at your school!
 
Here I am in the grave yard!

Here I am at your house!

Stalking is ok if you're a hot vampire apparently. We learned this from Twilight.

Actually I don't find Stephen hot. I'm team Damon.

Yep. Team Damon for sure.

I apologize if you're a dude reading this blog. I have no idea how this turned into a Vampire Diaries post.

Is it Friday yet?

A pox on you, the poorly made Halloween costume edition

It's October! One of my favorite months of the year. My birthday month (February) happens to be my least favorite month if you were curious.

Now that it's October I need to get down to business with my Halloween costume. I was thinking of going as Katniss when she's in the chariot with Peeta in her black suit with the fake flames but since we haven't invented flames that won't burn you, I think that idea is out. No need to be the actual "girl on fire".

These are my current ideas: Unicorn, fox, cat. Very creative, I know.

Store bought costumes are such a ripoff. You pay $60.00 for some knock of nurse outfit that is made of the cheapest possible materials that makes you itch all over and you're only going to wear the thing once or twice. A pox on you I say for charging more than $10.00 for this crap. I'm sure I will be picking up a few accessories but I will never waste my money on a badly sewn costume again.

Tell me what you're dressing up as for Halloween even if it's a slutty nurse costume you paid too much for. I promise I won't steal your idea I'm just curious.

A history of pets

Harvey: My first pet. He was a parakeet. One day I noticed his cage was empty and asked my mother where he went. She told me he had to go back to the pet store because he missed his bird friends. Whenever we passed the pet store I would make my mother take me inside so I could say hello to Harvey. When I was a teenager I realized that Harvey had died.

the lobster: My father brought home a pet lobster. He put it on the kitchen floor and I kept gently poking it with my finger because I'd never seen a real lobster up close before. When my father told me the lobster was for dinner I cried. I thought it was my new pet. My mother yelled at my father for letting me play with the dinner.

my friends guinea pigs: Katlyn and Erin were sisters who lived upstairs from us. They had two guinea pigs. I was tasked with looking after them while they went on vacation to Colorado. I would go upstairs everyday with my mother and change their water and food. I would take them out and pet them to make sure they weren't lonely. Katyln and Erin sent me a postcard from Colorado telling me about their uncle's farm. The day before they were suppose to come back, Katlyn's guinea pig died. I was very upset because I tried so hard to take good care of them. My mother told me they were old and I couldn't have done anything better. When Katlyn came home and asked to see her guinea pig, I put my arm around her and said "your guinea pig's dead". Katlyn ran into her apartment crying.

Iggy: My brother wanted an iguana. My mother asked me how big they can get. I spread my arms out wide and said "this big". My mother thought I was exaggerating. She soon found out I wasn't.

Lucky, Rolly, Twix: My pet mice. Lucky was white with black spots. Rolly was fat and all black. Twix was the color of the candy bar. Lucky loved to hold onto the wheel while Rolly ran and then he'd jump off and walk around crooked. Rolly died and we got Twix as a new friend for Lucky. Lucky tried to attack Twix so we had to get a separate cage. My mother would put the mice on the cats to "go for rides". I was mad at my mother until I realized that our cats were weird and didn't care.

Tigger: My first cat. He was part Siamese and very smart except that he loved to eat plastic. He could turn door knobs. We lived in a two family house. We had two sides to the basement that both apartments could access. Tigger would often sneak down there when we were doing laundry. One day my neighbor hears her daughter going "kitty! kitty!" and finds her petting a strange cat. She starts yelling at her husband thinking he got a cat without telling her. Their older daughter told them she thought it was the upstairs neighbors cat. They knocked on our door with Tigger and asked if he was ours. We had been out searching the neighborhood thinking he got out. He had opened my neighbors unlocked basement door and went into their apartment.

Roo: Our second cat. Tigger and Roo became best friends. Roo loved to drag stuffed animals, clothes, blankets, anything soft around the house to suck and kneed. He liked to sleep on peoples coats and if you tried to get him off he would hiss and swat at you. Once Tigger died we decided that we should get another cat because Roo was lonely. He only liked Boo on his terms. I'd wake up in the morning and find Roo and Boo sleeping on the floor of my bedroom nowhere near each other, but Roo still wanted to be in the room. When I moved out I took Boo and Roo would wander around the house meowing, wondering where that cat he use to chase went.

Boo: He had a broken pelvis that didn't heal right so he walked like he was drunk. He was found under a dumpster. He loved chicken and would do anything to get it. We had a Super Bowl party and I see him out of the corner of my eye stealing a wing from the coffee table. My roommate Meg follows him into the kitchen where there was another chicken wing that he demolished in the corner. He was the first pet that I actually was there when he was put to sleep. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. The vet told me that they look for you when they're dying, and I knew I had to stay. I scattered his ashed in the backyard where I would sit and read while he sniffed the plants and lazed in the sun.

Don't forget your Guinness pants

Derek and I went to see Resident Evil 75 5 the other night. I actually thought Retribution was the 4th movie.

The theater was empty. I left my purse with Derek and went to find the bathroom. On my way back I notice this guy ahead of me is wearing pj pants. Upon closer inspection there were pints of Guinness printed on them.

They were pretty similar to these.

Guinness pants joined us in the theater and the three of us watched the movie. I'd also like to mention that he was wearing a t-shirt with no sleeves. At least he knows what shirt to wear with Guinness pants.

The movie was pretty sucky. It would have been better to watch at home.

Derek and I after the movie:

D: I don't even know what happened.

Me: I do. She was trying to escape from the Umbrella corporation.

D: What number movie was this?

Me: I think 4? Yea, 4. (I was wrong on this).

D: I think I only saw 1 and 2.

Me: Me too. But it looks like there will be another one after this with the way the movie ended.

D: Great.

Me: It's the new Land Before Time! (there are 13 Land Before Time movies by the way)

At least I got to see some sweet pants. That was probably the highlight of the movie and it wasn't even in the movie.

My cat is famous

I always wondered what the cats did when I left the house. Now I know that Bosco is a part time kitty model.

He's now on the cover of deadmau5's new album.

For comparison, here is what he looks like on a day off.

He's a plus size model.

Now that I know about his modeling career it's time for him to pay up. He's needs to contribute to this household. I also need to set up a meeting with deadmau5 to discuss royalties.

Tendinitis everywhere

My shoulder is killing me. Ibuprofen and I are have been spending some quality time together. I'm pretty sure it's tendinitis. I wish there was a better reason than I slept on my arm weird. My mother and I seem to be prone to tendinitis. I've had it in my right knee and my jaw. I was on crutches for a week and had to go through a couple months of physical therapy for my knee in high school. My mother has it in her elbow right now.

I joined Zipcar so I'm not completely carless. It's so weird not having a car of my own. It's been an adjustment after 11 years of car ownership. I think it will be good though to try out some other cars and see what I like. I'm actually a bit excited, there are a lot of different cars to choose from in my area. No news on the accident front. Still playing the waiting game which is a blast.

Last night I watched two new fall shows - Ben and Kate and the Mindy Project. I actually thought both pilots were pretty good but I think I liked Ben and Kate a little better. The little girl on that show is so cute. The Mindy Project did play Bad Girls by M.I.A. though. I love that song.

Live fast die young bad girls do it well.

Let's kill it Wednesday!

#movies - We need to talk about Kevin aka I have discovered a new form of birth control

We need to talk about why this movie should be used as a form of birth control.

Is it weird that I like movies where someone is psycho but there's one person who's onto them and no one else believes it until the end of the movie and people are dead? That's a genre right?

This is also my worst nightmare. Knowing something is wrong and no one believing me. I've had dreams where this happens and I end up screaming and crying, trying to get my point across but it doesn't matter, no one believes me.

Tilda Swinton plays the main character Eva. When her son Kevin is born she knows right away that something is off about him. Even as a child he's very cruel and cold towards her and is bent on making her life as miserable as possible. Eva's husband, Franklin, played by John C. Reilly, doesn't see anything wrong with their son. He's just a normal boy when Franklin is around.

Eva's solution to having a child that despises her and is pretty much evil is to have another child. (have you not seen the Good Son Eva?!) This one will love me! When Kevin learns of the pregnancy and she asks him how he feels he breaks crayons and gives his mother a death stare.

Clearly this kid is ready for more people to torture. (Ok so this is not from that exact scene but all of his death stares are pretty much the same).

Franklin decides to give Kevin a bow and arrow and a target. I mean this is just flipping brilliant! Granted, Franklin is clueless as to how crazy his son is but Eva knows and is too scared to say anything.

So Eva knows that Kevin is crazy and evil and armed and yet, she allows him to baby sit. And this is what happens:

Not from an arrow but from something else. I can't give away everything about the movie here. Good job there Eva having that second child who loves you so much and now has one eye.

I'd like to thank this movie for making me terrified of having children and for my new PSA campaign:

HAVING MORE CHILDREN DOES NOT FIX THE PROBLEM.

I am bolding and underlining that because it is really true for so many of life's problems.

You might think from this review that I dislike Eva and that is not true. I actually feel really bad for her and honestly don't know what I would do in this situation. Probably cry and drink some wine and eat some french fries and cry some more and not have a second child.

I read an interview with the author of the book the movie is based off of and she said she thought of the idea when she considered whether or not  she wanted children. She had decided at the age of 8 to never have children and thought she should rethink that idea once she turned 40. Um, I think she made her decision.....

Also, you should read about Tilda's relationship with her boyfriend and the father of her children. It's a little strange but very interesting.